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Tribute to Guy Barzvi
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Page of Letters to Guy

Please note, this is a private letter I wrote in October after Guy's memorial.
It is long, but it's a last letter to Guy, and I'll never be able to talk to him again
in this life. I have gotten no closure from this, no therapy, and I didn't tell anyone about it until now. This was one of the only ways I could get some of my feelings out. I hope you understand, and try it yourself.
Love, Ava

To my dear cousin Guy,
It's so hard to know what to say. There is so much I have always wanted to say to you. I remember when we spoke on the phone we were talking about all the things we have in common, and how we have to get together soon.
But you were always busy at work, and I'm always busy being a single mom. Since September 11th, 2001 I've been thinking that I could have tried harder to meet you someplace and call you more often. Even if I walked with my daughter and dog, you weren't that far away.
I would have done it if you had time.
It's been hard to know what to do since Sept 11th. I tried to do as much as I could to find you. I called all the hotlines, hospitals, and all the people I knew who might be able to help. Lori told me they didn't have a picture of you to use to find you, So I asked family members and your friends for pictures. I got one from your prom, because everyone said you don't look any older. I wrote messages online on all the message boards and anywhere I could, to post about you being missing just in case anyone saw you, wanted to help, or wanted to know you were in the WTC. I made a 8x10 closeup picture of you, and taped, stapled and handed it out anywhere I could, all over Manhattan, some of LI, and all over Queens. Especially the area where we live.
Some people thought that was a good thing, and some people didn't. I know it was painful to see the picture. But it also did a lot of good, because I got so many calls from people who knew you. Friends from camp, school, work, girls you dated... you were very popular!
No wonder you didn't have enough time for everyone! They thanked me and said they wouldn't have known unless they saw the picture I put up with my number. So I've concluded that it was a good thing I did. I'm sorry that it upset some people, and I hope they forgive me, but I thought everyone else knew what I was doing. I hope you are ok with it.
I wish I could know.
The girls that knew you that I spoke to said you were such a good looking guy that you shouldn't mind. I felt so blessed to have been able to talk to so many people that knew you and loved you. Everyone had such great things to say about you. I learned so much more about you from your friends.
I only wish I could have known them from you.
I wish I could have been there more. I remember spending a lot of time with you when we were younger. You must have had people over all the time, since everyone talks about being there! You were always friendly and nice. Everyone loved being with you. Our family was much closer then. But when I gave birth to my daughter, you were barely out of your teens and our lives were very different at that point. We didn't see each other often after that, but whenever we got together it was great. In the last few years I've been trying to be more involved and closer to the family. You and your sister and parents have been on the top of my list. I always enjoyed the conversations you and I had when we got together. I'm glad we got the chance to talk more again in the last few years. 
I wanted to say all of this at your memorial in October,
but I didn't know that I had the opportunity. 
All I can do is continue to think about you, and talk about you to my daughter, so that you are not forgotten to the next generation of Barzvi's. She didn't know you well enough, yet you were always a good male role model for her. I guess I'll have to find another good male role model for Jaclyn, but nobody can ever replace you. It's sad that she knows you better now.
You have been and always will be a big part of our lives.
Now the question is how do we deal with this loss of a very special part of our family? All the talk about helping and being supportive of the victims families doesn't apply to cousins.
How does a extended family member get through it?
We don't get offers of emotional support. We are lost, and nobody knows how to find us unless we are listed on emergency contacts or as next of kin. When something happens, how long will it take for us to be called so that we can all be there for each other? When something happens and the family says they want to be alone, that should mean all of us. Not just mother, father and sister. We ALL love you.
We can hope that one day our families can be close again, and we can all be supportive of each other. But unless each one of us works on it, it won't work.
Anyway Guy, I hope you know I love you, Miss you, and think about you every day. I wish I could have told you that more often when you were around.
Your Cousin, Ava


Sometimes in the journey of life you meet people who touch your life in a certain way that leaves a footprint in it forever. For me, Guy was one of those people. He touched my life with great laughter and kindness. I can't think of a time that Guy didn't bring a smile to someone's face. Guy has given me memories that will be embedded in my mind for a lifetime.

Everyone here knew Guy in their own special way, some knew him longer than others or only a short while, but I'm sure he left an impression on everyone's lives here and that is why it is so hard to accept that he is gone.

I can picture in my mind the times we've had together. A time that comes to my mind over & over when I think of him was when we worked together & he went to sit on a huge box and unbeknownst to us it was empty and Guy fell through. I can still feel the laughter pains in my stomach seeing his legs up over his head. Or the time I took him clothes shopping so that he could pick up more girls and I made him try on a pair of jeans that were about 10 sizes to tight on him and we were hysterical laughing because he couldn't even walk. Or the time we managed to anger our manager giggling in a meeting at a man in the building across the street dancing in an empty conference room. Or the time he took me with his friend Jake to a Jewish singles dance in the city.
He was even there to listen to my problems in the serious times and offer me his best advice.
How can anyone forget his love for Salsa dancing or the numerous times he talked about his trip to Spain with his guitar and how he wanted to go back.
It makes me more sad inside than you'll ever know that I will never get the chance to tell Guy what a great person I thought he was. So I will tell his family and friends that he made a difference in my world & that is something no one can take away from me.
Guy, I hope you are some place better than here and where ever you are, you are shedding your laughter to some one else.

Mr. & Mrs. Barzvi - You raised one incredible son and he was lucky to have you as parents, and Lori just so you know, he always spoke of you with the highest regard. He loved you immensely.

All my best wishes for the road ahead and I hope our paths will cross again.
With all my love and sympathy,